To say that my son loves jokes would be an understatement. I'm constantly on the lookout for more kid appropriate jokes to spare me from hearing the same ones over and over. So I thought I'd share some of the ones that make us giggle. I've also asked several amazing bloggers about their kid-tested favorites and I've included them at the end of this post. I hope your family gets a laugh, and a knee slap, out of them too!
Silly Puns
1. Why did the chicken cross the playground?
-To get to the other slide.
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2. What do you call a pig that knows karate?
- A pork chop!
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3. Why do bees have sticky hair?
-Because they use honeycombs.
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4. Why was the man running around his bed?
-He wanted to catch up on his sleep.
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5. What does a robot frog say?
-Rib-bot. (Said in your best robot voice)
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6. Why is 6 afraid of 7?
-Because 7 8 9!
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7. What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
-A penguin rolling down a hill!
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8. Why do cows wear bells?
-Because their horns don't work!
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9. What does a snail say when it's riding on a turtle's back?
-Weeeee!!
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10. How did the barber win the race?
-He knew a short cut.
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Knock Knock Jokes
11. Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
Boo.
-Boo who?
Please don't cry. It's only a joke.
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12. Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
Nobody.
-Nobody who?
(Stay silent)
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13. Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
-Interrupting c..
MOO!!!
(Can be used with any animal. Just interrupt the other person with the corresponding animal noise!)
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14. Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
Cows say.
-Cows say who?
No silly, cows say moo!
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15. Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
Owls say.
-Owls say who?
Yep.
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16. Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
Tank.
-Tank who?
You're welcome!
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17. Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
Little old lady.
-Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
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More Kid-Tested Jokes
18. What is brown and sticky?
-A stick!
Deborah from Learn With Play At Home
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19. Why did half a chicken cross the road?
- To get to his other side!
JDaniel4'sMom from JDaniel4sMom
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20. What's mom and dad's favorite ride at a fair?
- A married-go-round!
Henry son of Laura from PlayDrHutch
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21. Where do cows go on Friday night?
- To the MOOOvie theater.
Krissy from B-Inspired Mama
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22. What did zero say to eight?
- Nice belt!
Danielle from Mommy and Me Book Club
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23. Where do sheep get their wool cut?
- At the BAAAbars!
Deborah from Learn With Play At Home
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24. Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
Banana.
-Banana who?
Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
Banana
-Banana who?
Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
Orange.
-Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
Danielle from 52 Brand New
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25. Where did the king keep his armies?
- In his sleevies!
Kristin from Sense of Wonder
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26. Where do library books like to sleep?
- Under their covers!
Kim from Adventures in Reading with Kids
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27. Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
- Because it's two-tired!
From The Iowa Farmer's Wife
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28. Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
Yourself.
- Yourself who?
Your cell phone's ringing you better answer it.
From The Iowa Farmer's Wife
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29. How do you make a tissue dance?
- Put a little boogie in it.
Kate from Picklebums
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30. Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
Smell mop.
- Smell mop who?
(Potty humor at it's finest)
Rachelle from Tinkerlab
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-A stick!
Deborah from Learn With Play At Home
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19. Why did half a chicken cross the road?
- To get to his other side!
JDaniel4'sMom from JDaniel4sMom
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20. What's mom and dad's favorite ride at a fair?
- A married-go-round!
Henry son of Laura from PlayDrHutch
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21. Where do cows go on Friday night?
- To the MOOOvie theater.
Krissy from B-Inspired Mama
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22. What did zero say to eight?
- Nice belt!
Danielle from Mommy and Me Book Club
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23. Where do sheep get their wool cut?
- At the BAAAbars!
Deborah from Learn With Play At Home
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24. Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
Banana.
-Banana who?
Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
Banana
-Banana who?
Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
Orange.
-Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
Danielle from 52 Brand New
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25. Where did the king keep his armies?
- In his sleevies!
Kristin from Sense of Wonder
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26. Where do library books like to sleep?
- Under their covers!
Kim from Adventures in Reading with Kids
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27. Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
- Because it's two-tired!
From The Iowa Farmer's Wife
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28. Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
Yourself.
- Yourself who?
Your cell phone's ringing you better answer it.
From The Iowa Farmer's Wife
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29. How do you make a tissue dance?
- Put a little boogie in it.
Kate from Picklebums
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30. Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
Smell mop.
- Smell mop who?
(Potty humor at it's finest)
Rachelle from Tinkerlab
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I hope that you discovered a few new ones, or rediscovered a few old ones (jokes as well as blogs)! Do you have a kid-friendly joke? Please share! You can leave a comment on this post or share your funny on my Facebook page!
AWESOME list! Thanks for including Henry's joke!
ReplyDeleteLOL. Ahh, those kid jokes get me every time :)
ReplyDeleteWhat's black and white and red all over? A newspaper
What's black and white and red all over? A zebra with sunburn.
haha. :) What a fun post!
Such a fun post! I loved reading all of these, some i haven't heard since childhood! Thanks for including ours!
ReplyDeleteGreat list, Joyce! My fave is why is 6 afraid of 7? My daughter already knows it, although she uses any random combo of numbers - haha
ReplyDeleteLove this post! Glad to see you back!
ReplyDeleteTwo fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing??"
ReplyDeleteAnd another classic...
ReplyDeleteTwo muffins are in an oven.
1st muffin: Hey doyou think it's getting hot in here?
2nd muffin: Ahh! A talking muffin!
Love these joles. They always make me laugh.
so fun! ... will share with the kiddos!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteIf you or your kids like #6, you must listen to "789" by They Must Be Giants. It's a fun song.
ReplyDeletethank you for these! sometimes we get so stuck on the same ones. way cute! one of my daughter's fav's right now is your #13 joke, which was new to me when she told it to me. her other fav is: "Q: why did the spider cross the road?" A: "to get t his web site!" the weird part is that she learned it from a classmate at waldorf school. go figure!
ReplyDeleteWhat an incredible list of jokes! I heart jokes...and try to dole one out at the end of every therapy session I do with young kids! These are great! Ironically, earlier today I was thinking about a post for which I needed some jokes to link to. These would be FAB! I hope you don't mind if I link to this post?
ReplyDeleteKeep shining bright,
Wendy
Haha! Awesome list! Charlotte is really into jokes right now, we've been checking out joke books from the library. I can't wait to read these to her at breakfast, she always gets so excited about learning a new joke to try out on Daddy :)
ReplyDeleteHow did cookie monster feel after eating a whole box of cookies in bed? Pretty crummy!
ReplyDelete2 monsters are eating a clown, one monster turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?"
What has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
I love this wonderful collection of jokes! I hope you don't mind if I pin it to my "fun & games" Pinterest board! Thank you!
I love all three of yours! So funny, especially the garbage truck!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteTee hee! I feel like a 5 year old :)
ReplyDeleteQ: if your an American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?
ReplyDeleteA: you're a peein (European)
And if you're in a hurry...
DeleteYou're a Russian!
What do you call a bear with no teeth.....
DeleteGummy bear
Great list! We love jokes around here--you've given us lots of new ones!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteGenius!
DeleteThis is a great list! My son is always asking me to tell him a joke but I don't know any so I'm pinning this! His favourite joke is "What do you call a skunk who flies a helicopter? A smelly-copter!"
ReplyDeleteI had to giggle as a read through these! What fun!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you call a bear with no teeth?
ReplyDelete- a gummy bear!
-Andie R.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
ReplyDeleteGROUND BEEF!
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
DeleteLean beef:)
What do you call a cow that's shaky?
DeleteBeef jerky ; )
Hahaha! That's awesome!
DeleteWhats the oppisit of ground beaf sky beaf
DeleteWhat do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman a frostbite what do you get when you shak a cow a milkshake where dose a snowman keep his money a snow bank where dose a poler bear vote a north pole ooo fact(this is not a joke)laghing is good for your heart so keep laghing and telling jokes
Deletethis is such a cute list! little people are soo funny!
ReplyDeleteWhat's red and invisible?
ReplyDeleteNo tomatoes!
I cannot thank everyone enough! For reading and commenting, and for adding their jokes. :) There's so many hilarious jokes in this comment section alone!
ReplyDeleteCarolyn @Mama's Little Muse, I would love for you to pin my post. Thank you so much!
Love all the jokes - in the post and the comments. My 6 year old loves jokes, I will have to share them with her.
ReplyDeleteMy fav from childhood is.
Why were the hamburgers embarrassed in the fridge?
Because they saw the salad dressing.
Some of these might not be kid friendly, but a majority of them are:
ReplyDeletehttp://theoatmeal.com/djtaf/
Corny jokes are my favorite, even as an adult!
How do you catch a squirrel?
ReplyDeleteClimb up a tree and act like a nut!
That one is a favorite of mine!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
ReplyDeleteIn case he got a Hole in One!
Why did the window go to the doctor?
Because it had panes!
Why are owls always invited to the party?
Because they are such a hoot!
Did you hear the joke about the bed?
ReplyDeleteIt hasn't been made up yet!
Did you hear the story about the corduroy pillow?
They say it made head lines!
What is red and holds water?
ReplyDelete~ a red bucket
What is blue and holds water?
~ a red bucket in disguise!
Another good one that goes along with your knock knock interupting cow is interupting starfish and you "palm the persons face" (star fish 5 arms, hand 5 fingers)
Love it! My mom told my 3 littles this one and they loved it... figured I'd share.
ReplyDeleteWhy did Tigger have his head in the potty?
He was looking for Pooh!
What do you call a cow with 1 leg?
ReplyDeleteA steak!
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean beef!
How does a pig get to the hospital?
ReplyDeleteIn a hambulance!
Knock knock!
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you!
Pete & Repeat were sitting on a wall. Pete fell off.
ReplyDeleteWho was left???
"Repeat"
Ok, Pete & Repeat were sitting........
We always sat them in a boat...lol
DeleteThat joke was so funny thats my fav joke how do you make seven an even number take out the s why are gosts bad liars because you can see through them how do you make fruit punch give it boxing lessons
DeleteHow do you catch a unique rabbit?
ReplyDelete*You neak (unique) up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
*Tame way, you neak up on it!
why did the elephant sit on the marshmellow?
ReplyDeletebecause he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate.
pinning this as a reference for when my son gets into jokes! love the picture of R at the top of your post. so cute!
ReplyDeleteGreat list of kids jokes! My boys are always looking for some funny ones and these are PERFECT and kid friendly. Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeletepete and repeat sitting in a baot pete fell out who was left? repeat ok pete and repeat sitting in a......
ReplyDeleteWhy do gorillas have such big nostrils?
ReplyDeletecuz they have such fat fingers!
Pahahah! These are great! So much better than my 3 year-old's "Knock Knock, Who's there?, Lemonade, Lemonade Who?, I left it in your hair."
ReplyDeleteI found you via pinterest & I'll be telling these jokes ALL DAY to try & get that crazy Lemonade knock knock joke out of my head.
LOve!!! We're so into jokes right now! My daughters favorite...
ReplyDeleteWhy did the bee get married?
Because she found her honey!
Thanks for such a great list!!!
LOved this!!! plus all the added jokes. heres another one - slightly potty but not really - "What are 100s and 1000s? Smartie Poos!!" :)
ReplyDeleteOk this is better where do bees go potty the bp
DeleteThank you! We have been listening to the same few jokes at the dinner table for months! Here are a couple of my daughter's favourites:
ReplyDeleteWhat is a baby's favourite constellation?
- the big diaper!
Knock knock
- who's there?
Doris
- Doris who?
Doris shut! That's why I knocked!
Found you on Pinterest! Those are great jokes! Here's another good one! What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
ReplyDeleteMiss E's favorite joke of the list was #21. The cows going to the MOOOOvie theater.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter just loved these! Thank you for sharing these with us!
ReplyDeleteMy 5 and 7 year olds favorite is "What did Batman and Robin become when they got ran over by a steamroller?" "Flatman and Ribbon!"
ReplyDeleteMy nephews new favorite is...."what do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow???? Blue cheese!"
ReplyDeleteOne evening after everyone was lost in giggles from a long list of great jokes, my niece pulled this one on me:
ReplyDelete"What happens when you throw a rock in the ocean?
It gets wet."
After a series of "witty" jokes, this plain one was even funnier! LOL
My son's first knock knock joke from around 4 years back:
ReplyDeleteKnock Knock
Who's there?
Apple.
Apple Who?
Apple on the refrigerator door handle. (I pull on the refrigerator door handle) Get it?
I decided to check one more "Pin" before going to bed, I am so glad that it was this one! Here is one of my favorite jokes: Where do you get dragon milk? From a cow with short legs!
ReplyDeleteam filing this away for when I need to change the mood at home.... :)
ReplyDeleteYears ago when my son was a Cub Scout, this was told at a Pack Meeting: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? Why, a Boy Scout won't eat broccoli! I enjoyed these reminders of fun times with my kids! It made me laugh!
ReplyDeleteGreat jokes!
ReplyDeleteWhat did the ocean say to the airplane? Nothing, it just waved!
Why can't S and H talk?
ReplyDeleteBecause everybody says "Shh" when they see them.
Lol I love that one
DeleteHaha love that one
DeleteHad to let you know that even my 11 & 13yos thought these were hilarious
ReplyDeleteMy daughter found this site that were pretty funny... 101kidz.com: Kid Jokes
ReplyDeleteMy grandson asked me, " why don't they give tests at the zoo? Because there are too many cheatas!" LOL
ReplyDeleteWhat animal do you never play a game whith a cheata
DeleteWhat does a pig use to fix it's boo boo's? OINKMENT!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThese are great. Can't wait to share with my five year old tomorrow.
What did Ernie say to Bert when he offered him some ice cream?
ReplyDeleteSherbert!
What do you call a guy...
Floating in the water...Bob!
Hanging by a wall...Art!
What do you call 2 guys hanging around a window?
Curt and Rod!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh these are funny, can't wait to share them with the little jokesters in my family today!
ReplyDeletehttp://wwww.practicallyperfectprincess.com
Here are 8 more corny jokes: http://jessejoyner.com/eight-original-corny-jokes/
ReplyDeleteThanks for putting these jokes all in one place for easy reference!
just wanted to share another interrupting one. same idea as the cow.. but its interrupting starfish. and instead of making a noise.. you grab their face with a wide open hand. haha. enjoy :)
ReplyDeletejust wanted to share another interrupting one. same idea as the cow.. but its interrupting starfish. and instead of making a noise.. you grab their face with a wide open hand. haha. enjoy :)
ReplyDeleteMy all time favorite and I only heard it as an adult....
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
.....She had mittens!
LOL! Hope you love it to! So cute!
Wwwwoooowwww sssooo ccccuuuuttteee
DeleteTwo of my faves:
ReplyDeleteWhy was the baby strawberry sad?
Because his mother was in a jam!
When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar!!
Hehehe :)
What's the difference between a vampire and a man with a bad cold?
ReplyDeleteOne sleeps in a coffin and the others coughing in his sleep
Why did the cinnamon roll?
He saw the apple turn over.
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky
Thanks for this! I found these jokes on pinterest, and my girls and I have just enjoyed a hilarious breakfast!
ReplyDeleteMy all time favorite!!!
ReplyDelete"Why do elephants paint their toe nails red?"
-I don't know
"So they can hid in cherry trees! Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?"
-NO!
"THEN I GUESS IT WORKS!!"
Great jokes. A few more for you
ReplyDeleteKnock knock
Who's there
I'm up.
I'm up who
Haha. I thought I smelt something!
Two cows in a field. One says moo. The other says, wow that's so weird I was just about to say that!
Why did the baker wash his hands?
Cause he needed a poo. (kneaded) (eeew)
How cute! Here's my all-time favorite:
ReplyDeleteWhere do eskimo pigs live?
In pig-loos!
what did the grape say when it got stepped on?
ReplyDelete- Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
When is a bicycle not a bicycle?
ReplyDeleteWhen it turns into a driveway!
Two snakes In the garden, one turns to the other and says" hey, man, are we poisonous? The other says, why? " cause I just bit my tongue"!!!
Love them all! Gonna over again and collect ones that I can throw at my kids in the morning.
ReplyDeleteThere's one I usually use that stumped most of people:
Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
Because it's a high school!
Cheers with thanks
Great to have more jokes for the kids!
ReplyDeleteOur faves that I don't see here:
Q: What has 4 wheels, and flies?
A: A garbage truck!
Q: If April Showers bring May Flowers, what do May Flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!
How do you catch a squirrel?
ReplyDeleteClimb up a tree and act like a nut!
That one is a favorite of mine!
I am sharing your post on my Facebook Page... Thank you so much for sharing. My kids love it!
ReplyDeletehttps://www.facebook.com/the36thavenue#!/the36thavenue/posts/513775928648613
What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall?
ReplyDeleteDAM!
This is one of my son's favorite!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you call an aligator in a vest?
An investigator
What do nosy peppers do? Get jalapeño business!
ReplyDelete3 tomatoes were walking down the street. A Momma, Daddy and baby tomato. Baby Tomato was falling behind so Daddy tomato went up to him and said "Catch-Up" ( I say this while I Stomp the ground) (sounds like ketchup)
ReplyDeleteWhat goes 99-clunk, 99-clunk, 99-clunk? ..... A centipede with a wooden leg!
ReplyDeleteThese are all great!! I love all of the ones in the comments too. My girls enjoyed them. Here's another one:
ReplyDeleteQ: What was the TV doing at the beach?
A: Channel surfing
Two peanuts were walking through the woods and one was assaulted (A salted) Tee Hee :P
ReplyDeleteKnock. Knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Ding dong.
Ding dong who?
Ding Dong! Just installed the doorbell!
These are all great! Thank you! My 5 year old was laughing pretty hard!!
ReplyDeletehahah sooo cute!! My nephew (7 yrs) makes up his own jokes... they're the best :)
ReplyDeleteWhat did the pink panther say when he stepped on a bug?
ReplyDeleteDead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnt. (Said to the tune on his theme music)
Why do seaguls fly over the sea and not the bay?
ReplyDeleteCause then they'd be bagels!
My granddaughter's favorite:
ReplyDeleteWhat's old and wrinkled and belongs to grandma?
Grandpa!
Why were Tigger and Piglet looking in the toilet? They were looking for Pooh!
ReplyDeleteGreat jokes!
ReplyDeleteQ: What is the funnest fruit?
A: A ki-weeeeeee!
These worked! Both my boys are in hysterics. The 8 year old has tears rolling down his cheeks and I've been instructed to 'print them out mum'.
ReplyDeleteAwesome!
ReplyDeleteQ: What does a blind deer call himself?
A: I have no-eye-deer!
Why did the cow cross the road?
ReplyDeleteHe wanted to go to the moooovies.
Why did the horse cross the road?
He wanted to visit his neighbours.
What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
ReplyDeleteA noisy noise annoys an oyster.
Ha ha. my 5 yr old asked me to tell her a joke today and i couldn't think of one(!!!) so this will be helpful!
ReplyDeleteShe likes this one:
What's stinky and flies?
A smellycopter!
And this:
What's a dinosaur called when its sleeping?
A dinosnore!
My youngest had a favorite joke when she was in the 2nd or 3rd grade:
ReplyDeleteA mushroom went to a party and asked some girls to dance. The girls said no and he said, "Oh, come one, I'm a fun guy!" - (funghi)
Q: what did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? A: Bison
ReplyDeleteI loved these!! A few days ago when my family was camping, one of my cousins said to the little kids:
ReplyDeleteWhat do you get when you throw a grenade into the kitchen?
One of the little kids replied: A whipping.
(The actual punchline is "linoleum blown apart", but we thought the little kid's relpy was much funnier!)
Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
ReplyDeleteIt stinks! Bahahahaha
Q. what do you call an illegally parked frog?
ReplyDeleteA. Toad! (towed)
Knock Knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Smell mop.
Smell mop who? --- you laugh.
(aka the person ends up saying "smell my poo)
One of my favorites is:
ReplyDeleteQ: What is green and has wheels?
A: Grass, I lied about the wheels!
Hahahahaha!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
ReplyDeleteBecause he felt crumby
This has to be the best thing I've read in weeks - months even. So many childhood memories came flooding back!
ReplyDeleteQ. How do you know when an elephant has been in your fridge?
A. Footprints in the butter!
Q. How do you know when he's still there?
A. Can't shut the door
Oh ... and further to the one about the elephant who painted his toenails red?
ReplyDeleteQ. How did Tarzan die?
A. Picking cherries.
My daughter joke since she was 3.
ReplyDeleteKnock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle in a tree....get it?
We never have but it's still funny 6 years later.
Whenever I hear anything abou a pickle i think "i got a pickle. I gotapickle. I got a pickle hey, hey, hey!" oh, i love little rascles.
DeleteWhat fruit can not get married?
ReplyDeleteA Cantaloupe (can't elope)
How do you know when the moon is about to go broke? It's down to its last quarter .
ReplyDeleteHow do you know when the moon is about to go broke? It's down to its last quarter .
ReplyDeleteHow do you tell when the moon is about to go broke? it's down to its last quarter.
ReplyDeleteMy son's favorite: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with!
ReplyDeleteGood jokes!
ReplyDeleteI tell jokes to my kids on the drive to school. I have already read almost all the jokes on the net, and these ones are pretty good!
Joke
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of fish has two knees
A. A two-knee(tuna) fish
My son thinks he is a stand up comedian now was all these jokes. Makes HIM laugh every time
LOVED this! Thanks for sharing these. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat did the ocean say to the other...
ReplyDeleteNothing it just waved!
SEA what I did there!
I'm SHORE you did!
Similar to the above deer joke... What do you call a deer with no eyes? ... No eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? ... Still no eye deer.
ReplyDeletewhat kind of key does not fit into a key hole _ a monkey! or donkey or turkey =D
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing these, I used a few of them in the printable joke notes I created for my son's lunchbox. I shared the free printable and the link to your post in my blog!
ReplyDeletehttp://momhascooties.blogspot.com/2013/01/lunch-box-notes.html
Love 'em, thanks. Here's one my son made up...
ReplyDeleteWhy was Superman late for Halloween?
Because of all the creep-tonite! (Kryptonite)
Lol these are great I still have a book from when I was in the 5th grade and it has some pretty good ones its called dumb jokes for smart kids.
ReplyDeleteHere's one: why did the tomato blush?
Because her saw the salad dressing
And another one that made me laugh was when a kid at my work came up to me and he looked really sad so I said what's wrong and he goes I got kicked out of the zoo and I was like oh goodness why and he then smiles really big and flexes his muscles and goes for stealing these pythons ha ha :-)
A: What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
ReplyDeleteB: I don't know.
A: So you're the one!
I love these jokes! My 13 year old laughed at them! What do you call a scared cow? Beef jerkey. What did George Washington say to his men before they got on the boat? Men, get on the boat. (love that one and the next for a break from all the puns) what did the farmer say when he lost his wheel for the tractor? Where is my tire? Last one. What did the farmer say while looking for his weel? You picked a fine time to leave me lucile! (lucile...loose weel...get it? The words are sung too!!
ReplyDeleteHere are some more jokes:
ReplyDeleteI have a deer hidden in my back yard. What is his name? Answer: John Deer
What is black and white with read all over:
Answer:A newspaper
Thanks for such an extensive list. The kids will love these!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the new jokes to add to my sons repertoire! My mom always tells the kids this joke: "How do you catch a unique mouse? Unique up on it!" Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteWhy did the cookie go to the hospital?
ReplyDeleteBecause he felt crumbie.... :)
Nothin' like some good jokes! :)
ReplyDeleteHow do you catch a unique rabbit? You 'neak up on it.
ReplyDeleteHow do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way! Thought if share mine :)
Cool Jokes. Gave me a laugh!
ReplyDeleteWhy did the turkey cross the road?
ReplyDeleteBcuz he heard Thanksgiving was around the corner!
i have another joke whats the largest ant in the world? (Answer) Antarctica!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteMy kids favorite. Why did the robber go through the car wash after the robbery?
ReplyDeleteHe wanted a clean getaway :)
Knock knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
I eat mop.
I eat mop who?
hehehehehehe
You really have to say it out loud to get the full effect.
hahahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha i love it!
ReplyDeleteWhat's green and stands in the corner?
ReplyDeleteA naughty frog!
Knock,knock
ReplyDeleteWhos there
I ate a pile up
I ate a pile up who
That's why your breath smells bad
these were very funny
ReplyDeletehere is a joke: why did the skeleton not cross the road? because he didn't have the guts to do it
ReplyDeleteWhat do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
ReplyDeleteA Flat Minor!
What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
Hot Cross Bunnies!
Oh my gosh! My oldest is sooo into jokes. I'll have to use quite a few of these on her, because usually it's dad that has the joke talent in the house. Mom needs to keep up! Thanks for the post! :-)
ReplyDeletehttp://thisfineday.com
what computer should Mike Rowe make?
ReplyDeleteMikerowesoft
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Joke:
ReplyDeleteWhy did the chicken cross the road?
To get to his friend's house.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
ReplyDeleteUnique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way; unique up on it.
George: Why did the chicken cross the road?
ReplyDeleteHarold: Why George?
George: So he could get to the other side.
Harold: ... That was original George.
These jokes, as well as the ones in the comments, are hilarious. Here's a really old one:
ReplyDeleteQ: Why couldn't the Internet get through the door?
A: It got inferred
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Knock Knock
Who's There
Better
Better Who?
Better Open The Door
awesome jokes, brought back some memories. Now will begin new memories for my grand kids.. thanks
ReplyDeleteWhy did the spider cross the road?
ReplyDeleteWhy?
To get to his web-site!
joke; what is a piarate's favorate letter?
ReplyDeleteperson; R
ANSER; RRRRRR you would think so but its really the sea.
why couldn't the piarate finish the alphabet?
ANSER; he got lost in the sea.
Heres one from my daughter:
ReplyDeleteWhat did the light say to the driver?
Don't look, am changing!
Why did the milk go to the doctor office? Cause it had a little spill.
ReplyDeleteI thought myself these were funny jokes. Cute
ReplyDeleteHow is getting up at 6am like a pig's tail?
ReplyDeleteAnswer: It's twirly!
why was the dog hot ..... because he was a hot dog
ReplyDeletethe jokes i read was funny .
ReplyDeletethe jokes were really funny
ReplyDeleteWhat do you call a mean amphibian?
ReplyDeleteAnswer: A bully frog
Great list! really cute for young kids.
ReplyDeleteReally funny , i,'ve got one too.
ReplyDeleteKnock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in the club and will tell you!
Made it up!
Why did the turtle cross the road?
ReplyDeleteTo get to the Shell station.
I love it so much going to entertain them
ReplyDeleteI just do not get some of these jokes really
ReplyDeleteAlaskan joke:
ReplyDeleteQ: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
A: A polar bear
Knock knock
who's there?
Gus
Gus who?
That's what you're supposed to do!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayn the bathtub, I'm dwowning!
What did 0 say to 8?
ReplyDeleteNice belt!
What's the best way to talk to a monster?
From a distance.
Why did the lion eat a lightbulb?
He wanted a light lunch.
What goes snap, crackle, squeak?
Mice Krispies.
What happens when you step on an orange?
You hurt it's peelings!
Enjoy! :D
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
ReplyDeleteNo eydeer(no idea)
What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eydeer
why did the pumpkin cross the street she wanted to become a jack-o-lantern
ReplyDeleteSome of these jokes are really funny.My second grader adores them and I plan to teach her some of these for a nice ice breaker at school.I also get to encourage her to read and retain information and work on her social skills at the same time.I found a new activity to share with my children.Thanks
ReplyDeletewhat goes up a hill, down a hill, but never moves? -- A road
ReplyDeleteLoved all the jokes!!! One of my students told me this one.
ReplyDeleteWhat did the green grape tell the purple grape?
"BREATHE!!!!"
I love it
ReplyDeletei love these!
ReplyDeletewhy did the rooster cross the road?
to prove he wasn't chicken!
What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?
ReplyDeleteHe got a little behind in his work.
What di you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
ReplyDeleteD'youthinkhesaurus
what happens when you drop a piano on a mine
ReplyDeletea minor be flat
My dad used to tell me this one as a kid. Most people don't find it funny but for some reason I find it hilarious!
ReplyDeleteQ: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it.
Q: did you hear about the corduroy pillow ?
ReplyDeleteA: it's creating headlines everywhere.
Q: What nationality is Santa Clause ?
A: North Polish.
Q: How do you spell fish with one eye ?
A: Cover one eye and spell fish / or
A: Just make the sound FSH.
A few of my favorites from the G rated joke book.
Lol.what does a ghost eat on his bagel?scream cheese!what kind of key doesn't go through the door?a monkey!what travels around the world but stays in one corner?a stamp!
ReplyDelete